‘Does My Bum Look Big In This?

Keep in touch for
more Relationship News

The Relationship People, Jinglewood, Landford, Wiltshire Tel: 0800 298 5938 Email: help@therelationshipeople.co.uk

TRP BLOG

copy along with our monthly
newsletter ‘Relationship
News & Views’ - which is stuffed full of articles and practical tips.

Email Marketing You Can Trust

Venue

Somewhere neutral is really important. Usually we see people at our home in the New Forest. If this is not convenient we can make other arrangements.

We provide refreshments and lunch on the ‘intensives’. We are able to recommend a range of lovely Bed & Breakfast establishments nearby if appropriate.

“The atmosphere and space where sessions are held is important. Jenny and Nigel have got this spot on as it's quiet, comfortable, calming and there are few distractions so the most can be gained from the session.”

S.M. 2009

FEES

A one day intensive costs £800 for both of you and includes lunch and refreshments

Please contact us to find out more

Call us free on
0800 298 5938
or email us at
help@therelationshipeople.co.uk

Getting to the Heart of the Issue

Whether you want to save your relationship or are thinking about separation and divorce, there are times when it’s worth paying extra attention to what is happening right now.

Knowing there’s a lot to lose, some couples prefer to spend concentrated time and reach that elusive breakthrough point faster. So we have put together a series of special coaching days. On these you will work through to an action plan you can begin to use straight away and kick start the rest of your life - whether together or apart.

One day intensives for couples

Our ‘Getting to the Heart of the Matter’ programme has proved popular with:

Couples who live abroad and can only see us during a return trip to the UK
Couples where one partner travels away and cannot sustain a programme of regular coaching sessions
Couples who have young children and can arrange childcare more easily for a whole day
Couples who need to cut through their distress or uncertainty quickly

Our clients have told us they would like to spend more concentrated time on:

Deciding whether to stay put or move on
Getting back on track
Creating a shared dream for the future
Negotiating an amicable separation or divorce

As the day progresses, we respond to your particular needs and circumstances and may tweak the outline programme.

1 Staying put or moving on?

You’ve taken a long, hard look at your relationship and realise something is missing. Life is pretty miserable when you are unhappy - you no longer notice the little things which used to gladden your heart and all you see is everything that’s going wrong.

Maybe you’ve simply drifted apart. Quite often there are other signs of unhappiness:

excessive flirting or affairs
lack of intimacy between you
a change in lifestyle you hadn’t bargained for, perhaps caused by illness, disability, childcare ...
work patterns which mean you lead separate lives
unacceptable behaviour such as alcohol or drug abuse, verbal or physical bullying, or pornography.

You have a lot to lose and you don’t want to rush your decision. Consider:

the cost of splitting your assets and living separately
the effect on your capacity to work efficiently and well
the impact on your immediate living arrangements
your children’s peace of mind and security
the daily contact with your children as they grow up
relationships with friends, family and colleagues
your home

The ‘Staying put or moving on’ one day intensive is designed to:

Work out what is really important to you in life and in your relationship
Facilitate honesty and clear communication between you
Raise awareness of the patterns that are at play between you
Get the issues out and stop them festering
Deal with denial about the current situation
Put the focus on the present and the future rather than dwelling on the past
Either arrive at decision to part with an action plan to do so amicably
Or decide on an action plan for change with clear indicators of what needs to happen for you to recognise success

Top of page

If the usual pattern of relationship coaching isn’t for you, swap the regular sessions for a one day intensive and get to the heart of the issue.

Replace the slow but sure progress with a focus on reaching a breakthrough and coming away with a clear plan of action you can begin to work on straight away.

2 Getting Back on Track

Even when you know you love each other, the stresses of everyday living can take over and you find:

You are no longer intimate
You feel taken advantage of
You go round and round, arguing over the same things
You’ve stopped sharing your thoughts and ideas
You no longer trust your emotions

You may have an idea what’s caused you to drift apart:

Redundancy
the demands of looking after your children
the loss of someone close
an imbalance between work and home
money worries
illness ....

Relationship or marriage counselling can help you when you are too close to your problems to see a way out. You know deep down you still love each other and it’s worth the effort now to prevent things drifting even further and splitting you apart.

Act now - most couples leave it far too late before they seek relationship or marriage counselling - separation and divorce are unfortunately the inevitable next steps.

The getting ‘Back on Track’ intensive is designed to

Help you understand the principles and values you each live by
Give you strategies to cope with things you cannot change
Give you simple steps to improve the way you communicate
Find the little things that make a big difference to your love and connection
Show you a greater flexibility to change than you realised
Support you to arrive at an action plan you both share responsibility for achieving

Top of page

3 Create a shared dream for your future

When you are close, it’s easy to assume you know what each other is thinking. As time goes by you may not have revisited those early aspirations and dreams to see if they are still relevant.

You no longer seem to be moving towards what you thought were shared goals
You’ve never really discussed your life together and how you will both contribute to its success.
You face some major decisions and you don’t know how it will affect your relationship

This day will help you:

Help you work out what you both want from your life together
Help you meet each other’s relationship needs
Help you be separate(independent)and connected (a couple)
Face life changing moments - shall we have children? Where will we live?
Focus on a positive future and let go of any negative times in the past

4 Negotiating an amicable divorce or separation

You’ve reached that stage where you’ve nothing in common. You are constantly aggravated by your partner. Respect is a distant memory as criticism, judgements and blame become commonplace. One or both of you has fallen out of love and there is no going back to sharing a life together. You’ve reached the end of the road and don’t know how to sort it out.

There are three very important reasons why it is worth working together to create an amicable separation or divorce:

The costs of separation and divorce soon escalate if you cannot agree on basic principles. Lawyers need clear instructions to work efficiently on your behalf and divorce counselling will help you be less emotional and clearer about what you want.
When children are involved their wellbeing is substantially enhanced by remaining in contact with both parents. Divorce counselling helps you maintain a practical relationship with each other beyond your separation.
Your own wellbeing will be enhanced if you are able to leave behind the feelings of guilt, bitterness, revenge, or injustice. Value the times that were good, even if they didn’t last long. Moving through any negative emotions enables you to move forward to a healthier and brighter future.

The one day intensive ‘How to negotiate an amicable divorce’ is designed to:

Get the issues out and stop them festering
Remove bitterness from unresolved arguments
Acknowledge the current position and take responsibility for it, without dwelling on blame or guilt
Identify points of agreement - usually at the top level - such as wanting children to be safeguarded
Identify points for negotiation - such as where you will each live and who will have care of the children
Decide what additional support you need, eg financial advice, legal advice, mediation, divorce counselling, coaching or other support to re-establish self-esteem
Provide outline information about grounds and options for separation and divorce
Arrive at a practical and agreed plan to separate or divorce

www.therelationshipeople.co.uk/

Top of page

2 Getting Back on Track

Even when you know you love each other, the stresses of everyday living can take over and you find:

You are no longer intimate
You feel taken advantage of
You go round and round, arguing over the same things
You’ve stopped sharing your thoughts and ideas
You no longer trust your emotions

You may have an idea what’s caused you to drift apart:

Redundancy
the demands of looking after your children
the loss of someone close
an imbalance between work and home
money worries
illness ....

Act now - most couples leave it far too late before they seek relationship or marriage counselling - separation and divorce are unfortunately the inevitable next steps.

The getting ‘Back on Track’ intensive is designed to

Help you understand the principles and values you each live by
Give you strategies to cope with things you cannot change
Give you simple steps to improve the way you communicate
Find the little things that make a big difference to your love and connection
Show you a greater flexibility to change than you realised
Support you to arrive at an action plan you both share responsibility for achieving