The Relationship People, Jinglewood, Landford, Wiltshire Tel: 0800 298 5938 Email: help@therelationshipeople.co.uk
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Buying or Moving Home
Everyone has heard that buying a new home or moving house is one of the most stressful times we face. This is one of those events that rarely creep up on us unexpectedly - so make best use of the time you have to prepare for your move and enjoy the changes ahead.
Be clear about what you really want
It is all too easy to make assumptions that you share the same dreams and plans about your new home, so take some extra time to make sure you both share the same criteria for your ideal home. It is all too easy to forget some of the other things you value in life when you are focused on the major task of moving home.
Engage a project manager!
Well of course this is really one of you! Just remember moving house is a major project and needs careful management - it won’t happen without some effort, so be clear about who is responsible for what. This will help you feel in control of what is happening and keep stress to a minimum.
Keep talking
Do you have clear channels of communication between you? It is so much easier if you remember that part of being responsible for a job is to keep the other person informed about your progress. You will feel more relaxed if you remove the need for ‘nagging’, by making sure you understand and respond to each other’s needs for information.
When the going get’s tough...
And, let’s be honest, you will be lucky if there isn’t the odd difficult moment or cross word. So recognise the tension as a symptom of the circumstances, rather than a slight to be taken personally. If you know you have to raise a sensitive issue, do it gently and without blame.
‘My Dad was in the Navy and moving every few years was a way of life. My mother continues to help her children with their less frequent relocations, saying she misses the opportunity moving brings to clear out the rubbish and start afresh.’
Jenny Heath
Learn how to positively frame your thoughts about your move.
Case Study
When we decided in 1999 to move to our New Forest home we had quite different needs. It was easy to agree on the purely practical aspects of our move: the budget available and the overall boundaries for our search. However, this move meant a lot to us - we wanted to create a home that we could live in for the rest of our lives.
We decided to use a technique called ‘The Well-Formed Outcome’ to test the other criteria for our search. This exposed the hidden agenda we didn’t know we had. In Nigel’s case this was to be able to walk into the New Forest from the home and having a house with development potential. In Jenny’s case it was important to become part of a community.
When we had all our criteria for our search clear, we suddenly found it easy to select the ‘must see’ houses from the ‘definitely nots’ and the ‘probables’. In a short time we walked into our new home and our offer was accepted immediately by the lady who was only moving from her lovely home on health grounds.
Since 1999 we have enjoyed extending our one-bedroomed bungalow into a home where our children love to visit and ‘chill out’ with us. We are also thrilled that we have been able to introduce sufficient flexibility into our living space to run The Relationship People from here. Our local coaching clients immediately recognise the peace and tranquillity of the setting.
Nigel and Jenny Heath
