The Relationship People, Jinglewood, Landford, Wiltshire Tel: 0800 298 5938 Email: help@therelationshipeople.co.uk
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Top Relationship tips
Be clear what you really want
- Discuss and agree the goals you share, e.g. Children, home, career, holidays ...
- Make sure you identify your individual goals: How can they be included?
Take responsibility for your behaviour
- Use a softer tone of voice to turn criticism or nagging into discussion
- Ask questions or give more information instead of being defensive
- Agree a time to discuss difficult issues together instead of ignoring them
- Criticise the behaviour not the person. For example say. “That is a silly thing to do” not “You are stupid!”
- If your habitual responses are no longer useful, ask for professional help
Take time to choose how you respond to other people and situations
If it goes wrong and you have an argument, remember ...
- Either of you can make the first move to repair the damage
- Leave enough time for both of you to simmer down
- Being in love means you do have to say sorry from time to time
Make time together
- If life is very busy, book time for each other and be clear about what you want from this time
- Find something you can enjoy doing together
Share out the chores
- Be clear who is responsible for which jobs
- Question your assumptions: is ‘putting out the bin’ or ‘cleaning the toilet’ really always your job or their responsibility?
Avoid infidelity
- Be aware of warning signs that your relationship isn’t fulfilling all your needs. Work together to plug the gaps
- Don’t put yourself in situations where you may be tempted
Remember all relationships have their ups and downs
- ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ - you can learn from every ‘down’
- Acknowledge there may be experiences from your past that condition the way you respond now. Asking for support is not an admission of failure, rather it’s a sign of commitment and can help you weather times of stress
